August 13, 2004

This week just sucked

There is no other way to think about it, it just sucked. I will be happy to give this week the back of my hand and see it no more. Let me review.


Actually, Monday was fine, I think. I'm having trouble remembering back that far but I think it was fine.


Here officially commenceth the suckitude.

Leave work early to try to take ailing family (my parents') pet to the vet while my mother is in the hospital and my father is away on a business trip he could not get out of. Arrive to find beloved dog dead. See below for post on this. Handled disposal arrangements and broke news to parents. That was fun.

Come home to find Boy Child is running 104 degree fever. Call doctor emergency service.


Don't go to work. Take my mother home from the hospital. Spend hours at hospital dealing with release, getting her settled at home, doing grocery shopping for her, etc., etc. Find out her oldest friend has died that day. I knew that woman for most of my life. Very sad.

Boy Child still has fever but seems to be getting better.


Children do not sleep through the night before. Wake as exhausted as went to sleep. Drag self to office.

9:40, receive phone call from Girl Child's camp that nanny was acting irrationally and incoherently. Nanny told camp people that she lost GC, five minutes after dropping GC off with group. Turned whole building upside down before it became clear to camp people that nanny thought it was 12:00 and not 9:00. They called me to express deep concern. Holy shit. Jump on 10:10 train home.

Long discussion with nanny who has convinced us, barely, that she is not losing her apparently tenuous grip on reality, promises us that she will be home earlier at night and sleep more, and that this was just an isolated, strange event. We remain skeptical but hopeful.

Wife and I pick GC up from camp ourselves and take her out to lunch after I spend 45 minutes interviewing 4 different camp people to find out exactly what transpired from their perspective.

BC spikes fever again. Rush to doctor to be told it's a virus and let him ride it out. Whew.

Am asleep before GC.


GC awakes at approximately 1:00 a.m. complaining of pain in her teeth. Wife attends to her for 45 minutes. Wife tags out, I tag in at 1:49 a.m. I attend to GC until 3:00 a.m. when, after giving her some children's Tylenol, she goes to sleep.

Alarm goes off at 5:30, I go back to sleep. Wife's alarm goes off at 5:45. I stumble out of bed. GC is out of bed by 7, still complaining of pain.

Call dentist's service at 7:30, leave message, go to work, where I remain at present, ambivalent about our plans to go out for dinner tonight during what is forecast to be a monsoon.

I have a headache.

Goodbye week and good riddance! Other than breakfast with the GC on Wednesday morning, I'm happy to shut the books on this one.

I really need some sleep.

Posted by Random Penseur at August 13, 2004 10:06 AM

No offense, RP, but if you and your wife just decided to let the wife stay home and raise the kids your week would've been 100% better (not to mention your kids. You left your sick son with a questionable nanny?). You can't have it all.

Posted by: Mitch at August 13, 2004 12:03 PM

Well, Mitch, while I appreciate your advise, I disagree on so many grounds that I find myself at a loss as to where to begin. First, it isn't that I am keeping my wife from staying home with the kids, it's that we can't afford to do without the two salaries. Second, we spent hours talking to the nanny, to the camp people, and discussing it with each other and we are comfortable that she is stable. This is the first odd incident we've had after 5 months of her living with us. Third, can't have it all? What, all? Paying the mortgage? Eating regularly? Which part of that all can't we have?

Posted by: RP at August 13, 2004 12:11 PM

You can't raise healthy children (physically, mentally, emotionally) if both parents work. If you can't afford a mortgage w/out both of you working, then you can't. You cannot have your dream life in the suburbs, a two career couple and well-cared for kids. Read the stats. That is the "all" you cannot have. Continue to make your selfish choices and watch society continue to disintegrate. 5 bucks say you'll be divorced within the next 7 years.

Posted by: Mitch at August 13, 2004 12:23 PM

I think that news might come as a surprise to a lot of people, about not being able to raise kids who become responsible adults in a two parent working family.

As for your insulting speculation concerning my marriage prospects, and your unfounded and not particularly well informed judgments with respect to my "selfish choices", respectfully, your personal observations are as unwarranted as they are inaccurate and I will not respond further.

I will note this, though. I feel you have crossed the bounds of civility here. Failure to confine your comments within those bounds in the future will make you the first person I have ever banned.

Posted by: RP at August 13, 2004 12:42 PM

RP, you blog, people will comment. If you wanted all to be sweetness and light you were not being realistic. No need to ban, I won't be back. I find your blog insufferably pompous, especially since I suspect you are a personal injury attorney, among the lowest of the low. Not surprising, somehow.

Posted by: Mitch at August 13, 2004 01:04 PM

Wrong, again. No need to restrain yourself, though. You can't seem to keep it within the bounds of civility so, poof, I ban you.

Let me be clear about something for everyone else, if I wasn't before: disagree with me all you want. I don't expect universal affirmation and would find it boring. But keep it within the bounds of being polite. That's all I ask. If you can't do that, then do it somewhere else. Simplicity itself, no? Even if it is pompous?

Posted by: RP at August 13, 2004 01:13 PM

First Random, thank you for what you said on my boo-hoo blog yesterday. Even though I said I didn't want comments, I was glad to read them after all. Yes, I know I'm silly, but it's true regardless. Thank you for being so sensitive about it. :-)

Also, I want to extend the same sympathy back to you. Yes, your week has sucked. Raising little ones is hard. Thank god it's Friday. Enjoy your weekend. Things can only go up from here, right?

Scary about the nanny. All I can offer you about that is, trust your gut, both you and your wife. This is one of those times where instinct goes further than anything else.

Finally, I'm with you on the rudeness of commenters who dive in from nowhere and make sweeping statements about your personal life based upon their own opinions and what little they read in a few entries you've made. This is YOUR blog. It's not a newsgroup, nor a debate arena of any kind. This is like a little home for you. It's personal.

Some people think that because you choose to go public so you can meet others through your blog, it means they can say whatever they want.


Physically, nobody can stop them from clicking on the "post" button, true, but they are being quite rude by challenging someone they do not know in their private space.

I personally feel it's always better for a mom to say home with the kids in a family whenever possible, but I would never dream of pushing my opinion onto anyone in the boorish, pushy way that Mitch has.

If anything, his aggressive stance with you has caused you to react with well-deserved hostility. Which is never the way to get anyone to see another point of view.

If you and I ever discussed this topic, that would be one thing. We have gotten to know each other and perhaps it would be something we could swap ideas about in a civil manner, if one of us ever cared to.

But the way "Mitch" went about it was all wrong. Wrong, mean-spirited and rude. I hope you do ban him.

Notice how people like this never leave a blog address? They either do not HAVE a blog, so do not understand it is not a place to air their public asshat opinions, but rather a personal place YOU have created for yourself or they are bloggers who know what they are doing but are ashamed enough to not leave their blog address.

It's like he walked into your house and started spouting off. Ugh...

I think you have a wonderful family and you are obviously all very loving with each other. It's a terrible thing to tell someone they will be divorced and it is SO not true in your case.

Posted by: Amber at August 13, 2004 01:21 PM

Wow. What an ass. It's been a while since I've read such a load of tripe. I think the last time was when I was trying to explain the concepts of logic to a MoveOn disciple. Anyway...

"Insuferably pompous"? I guess that means you don't use enough contractions, RP. Mitch obviously hasn't read this blog very long. Anybody who actually did would know you've got a fantastic relationship with your kids and they're doing remarkably well.

My own Lovely Wife is a stay at home mom. We have our own reasons for that and a big one is her earning potential. If she went to work it might cover preschool and daycare but it wouldn't cover much else. For us having a stay at home parent was a logical decision.

That doesn't make our decision the right one for anybody else. If your kids are happy and healthy and you've got a great relationship with them then what more would you want there?

Hold on a second. I can't believe I am trying to answer the arguments of this troll. The proper way to handle trolls is to modify their comments to be humorous and/or harmless. Example:

RP, you blog, people will comment. People like me will spit out whatever we think will get you riled and pissed because we have orgasms when we make people angry. No need to ban, I won't be back. I find your blog immensely intimidating, especially since I have this seeping rash on my naughty bits. No more hookers for me, I swear it!

Posted by: Jim at August 13, 2004 01:37 PM

More important than Mitchy though, I hope your weekend is as fine as the weekdays were rotten.

Posted by: Jim at August 13, 2004 01:38 PM

Thanks, Amber and Jim. I appreciate very much your comments and advise and suggestions.

Posted by: RP at August 13, 2004 01:46 PM

I must admit I feel a little shook up after reading that exchange. It did feel good to see you take him down as you did, though.

It's hard for me to understand why a person would feel they have the right to offer negative personal criticism willy-nilly, simply based on their own parochial views of the world.

I personally took offense to his comments. My wife works at night while I work during the day, and we switch on and off with my daughter. As you can imagine, we don't see much of each other. But that's the price we pay to afford ourselves such excessive luxuries as owning a home and feeding our child. The days of 'Leave it to Beaver' and 'Father knows best' are far behind us now. I believe that the families who can keep a mother at home to tend to the children are very lucky, and as time progresses, fewer and fewer. The ideal "family" concept is no longer realistic, and we have to make due with what we have.

Shame on Mitch for his narrow mindedness and rudeness.

I hope your weekend proves to be better than your week was.

Posted by: Mick at August 13, 2004 02:53 PM

Fie on Mitch and his comments!! Where does he get off being so judgmental??? Hello!!!! The last time I checked if I point a finger at someone, I have three pointing back. Seems pretty simple to me.
Your have had a rotten week and here is to a better weekend. In addition, Death has been a very close companion with me this week.

Posted by: Azalea at August 13, 2004 03:24 PM
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