September 04, 2004

I'm a liar.

I lied about something really important today. I told my daughter that there are no monsters in the world and that she is safe and that there really isn't anything scary. The thing is, she doesn't need, at 3 1/2, to know differently. But I know.

This woman knows:


Evil walks the earth and kills children for some perceived political gain. I don't know what it is. I sit, this morning, with my coffee and I look upon my daughter and I am so ineffably sad and I try so hard not to show it to her because she doesn't need that.

But I wonder, are we next? Will it be some pre-school in Tacoma or Miami or White Plains?

And so I sit there and I watch her and I know that I cannot keep her safe. And I lie to her. But I cannot lie to myself.

There are monsters and they bring terror in the name of Islam. I shy away from writing that last sentence because I know that muslim does not mean terrorist. I was raised to think differently and I like to think that I know differently. But something has gone terribly wrong somewhere if adherents to a creed or a cause or a system of beliefs think they are right and justified in shooting children in the back as they flee a burning building.

I lie to my daughter and tell her there are no monsters. But there are. And I fear. I am so very afraid.

Posted by Random Penseur at September 4, 2004 09:31 AM

Every day this looks less like a religion and more like a death cult.

Posted by: Jim at September 4, 2004 10:46 AM

Jim, we're all entitled to be angry at this moment, but I know too enough muslims to know that it's not fair to blame the sickening actions of a few on every hardworking, spiritualy and decent member of one of the world's greatest faiths.

It's akin to saying members of the Klan are representative of Christianity.

Posted by: mikeyinbarcelona at September 4, 2004 01:40 PM

RP--I am always impressed with the way to write and phrase your thoughts here...the love you have for your kids is overwhelming to read about sometimes, and I'm so glad to see it.

Posted by: ensie at September 4, 2004 02:19 PM


Dan found more information on the whole mess this morning and asked if I wanted the link. I said no. I'm sick at heart knowing how twisted some human beings can become. I can't imagine my children being hurt that way.

Posted by: Amber at September 4, 2004 02:37 PM

I, too, look at my sons (both hurtling towards draft age) and fear.

That was a most touching photo, a most touching post.

Posted by: Emma at September 4, 2004 05:42 PM

Thank you all for your comments. A day at the beach, hugging my children and making the little hurts go away when they fell down, did a world of good.

Posted by: RP at September 4, 2004 10:03 PM

I was so overwhelmed by it all. I heard one mourner speak to day; he stated they weren't humnans, those who could do this to children.

I think what we have to do is say no to terrorist wherever they are and whoever they hit; Israel, Sudan, Russia or the USA. We can not listen to the complaints of those who target the innocent.

These children will be left with permanent scars; Russia is left with permanent scars.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at September 6, 2004 05:58 AM

Rachel Ann, I think we are ALL of us left with scars from this.

Posted by: RP at September 6, 2004 06:59 AM

This has haunted me since you wrote it. Thank you for such a poignant, thought provoking post.

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 10, 2004 09:28 AM
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