September 27, 2004

A Quick Story

I know it was very quiet here today. The thing is that I woke up this morning at 3:40 in a total sweat. I was absolutely convinced that every decision I've taken in the past month, or more, on every case I'm responsible for, was utterly wrong and I had totally screwed up millions of dollars of litigation. It was horrible and I was terrified. I also admit to worries that I had defaulted on a zillion different things. This is how stress manifests itself sometimes for lawyers; in night terrors. I could not get back to sleep and I was not awake enough to think about things rationally. It was pretty fucking horrible. I got up and I went to work. At my desk by 6:15 a.m. And I worked very hard today with no time outs for blogging. I didn't accomplish everything I wanted to do but I got enough done that I ought to be able to sleep tonight.

All that said, I wish I had had the Girl Child's career vision when I was younger. She told me the following tonight:

GC: Pappa, I know what I want to be when I grow up.

Me: What's that?

GC: A doctor. [Pause] And a super hero. Although, it's hard work being a super hero.

That may be, but it beats being a lawyer. At least, it does this week.

Posted by Random Penseur at September 27, 2004 09:55 PM

Too funny.

My son is alternately Spiderman and Superman. Occcasionally? A firefighter or a Rescue Hero. Just ask him who he is today.

I once thought I wanted to be a lawyer. IReading your posts give me a warm fuzzy feeling that I made the right choice :)

Posted by: Elizabeth at September 28, 2004 01:08 AM

Second guessing yourself is a problem for many of us. I'm sorry you had such a bad night. I hope your sleep is sound tonight.

And I love the confidence of little children. The Artist use to want to be a vet, a horse-trainer, an artist and I don't remember what else! Of course at one point she weanted to live together with me and the rest of the family forever. She no longer has that as a dream. I miss that.

Posted by: Rachel Ann at September 28, 2004 02:21 AM job has suffered time to time as well due to blogging. It has panicked me at times.

Blogging is fun, but not at the expense of our jobs.

That being said, I've often awoken in the wee hours of the morning, sure that all my decisions have had dire consequences. Mostly concerning my children, not my job.

"They are grown," you say.


I still suffer at 3:40 in the morning.

There is nothing that brings grey hair on as quickly as watching the decisions of 20-somethings you raised.

In other words...I relate. In more ways than one. :-)

As the girl-child said, it's hard work being a super hero. :-)

Posted by: Amber at September 28, 2004 03:11 AM

I think it would be easy to be a super hero. What's to it? A pair of tights, some hair gel. The ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound. No problem!

I totally understand about the tossing and turning at night, though. Hoep you're feeling better today...

Posted by: Helen at September 28, 2004 04:59 AM

i myself am currently employed as a super hero.
it is hard work, but i find it extremely gratifying.
and there was not as much school to attend as there is for a doctor.

hope your week gets better RP....

Posted by: standing naked at September 28, 2004 09:06 AM

Feeling much better today, thank you all very much. But, the day is young.

Posted by: RP at September 28, 2004 11:15 AM

DAMN YOU and your thoughtful posts!

You're totally RUINING my image of all my NY lawyers being claw-footed cyclops' that have NO SOULLLLL!!

Kidding. Totally.

And I'm very sorry that you're stressed. I'm sure that this means the transaction/deal/whatever it is will go off (seemingly) effortlessly, because you've done all of the "what if" planning beforehand. Hug your support staff. ::: wink :::

::: grins :::

Posted by: Margi at September 28, 2004 03:15 PM
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