October 04, 2004
Munch Theft: An Update
You all recall, I'm sure, that in late August, two famous paintings were stolen from the Munch Museum in Oslo, Norway. Well, now almost six weeks later, we have an update from the Police: They don't have a f**king clue who took the damn things.
"We have not had any good, concrete tips about where the pictures are. We are still optimistic but we need some time," said police inspector Iver Stensrud, head of the Organized Crime division of the Oslo police district. "There are no concrete leads or groups that are more interesting than others in the investigation. A reward is one of the things that is under continuous assessment," Stensrud said.
Translation? We have no idea what happened to the damn things and are so totally useless that we can't even agree on whether, 40 days later, it might make some sense to offer a reward to shake loose some information. We need some time because if we get fired now, our pensions may not have vested so you really need to wait to decide if we're incompetent.
I will eat my words with the greatest pleasure if these clowns turn these paintings up again. I fear I will not have to do that. I'm sure you know how this all makes me feel right?
