December 14, 2004

I want an order to show cause and a pina colada!

The sun was still not up yet when I exited Grand Central Station this morning and it was feeling quite cold, despite overhearing a fellow commuter relate to his buddy that the Wall Street Journal reported today that this Winter was 5% warmer than the preceding 10 year average. Of course, I immediately wondered about the geographical area included in this average, but no matter. No, I sit here in my office, cold, preparing for what might be the final day of trial in this $30 million loan guarantee case (we go today from 9:30 to 1:00)and also preparing for a hearing (2:30-??) in the bankruptcy court to try to stop a very culpable party from weaseling out from under an $18 million judgment we have against them. In the bankruptcy, I am special counsel to the trustee and will be attending as co-counsel so while someone else is carrying the laboring oar there I still have a lot to do.

Gonna be a long cold day today.

Is it any wonder that the recently advertised job post for a position as an Assistant United States Attorney in the District of the Virgin Islands looks blindingly good right now? A motion and a daiquiri, anyone? A jury charge conference and a planter's punch?

Actually, all kidding aside, this information I quote from the above link is kind of interesting, despite the use of the phrase "very unique" which is just bad English (this just proves I need to get out more, I know, I know):

The District is very (sic) unique in many respects. First, the District Court of the Virgin Islands is not constituted under Article III of the Constitution but rather under Article IV, Section 3, Clause 2. Consequently, the district court judges serve eight-year terms rather than appointments for life. Second, the District has no permanent bankruptcy judges. Bankruptcy judges from the Third Judicial Circuit are temporarily assigned to hear bankruptcy matters in the District of the Virgin Islands.

This is the only Judicial District which is not mandated to utilize the grand jury. Until 1993, no grand jury was used in the District. The Bill of Rights does not necessarily apply to residents of the Virgin Islands. Virgin Islanders do not have the right to vote in United States elections. As a matter of policy, however, the USAO uses the grand jury except for routine cases.

The District contains separate customs zones. Unlike Puerto Rico, when persons leave this District they are required to go through U.S. Customs. Goods are duty free up to $1,200. Duties which are paid go to the Territory of the Virgin Islands. The Immigration and Naturalization Service (INS) office in this District is very active. This is the only District which prosecutes all illegal alien cases. Recently, it was noted that the District had the 8th largest number of Immigration cases of all of the nation's 94 districts.

The District Court of the Virgin Islands will not permit use of local pretrial detention facilities due to a standing court order concerning substandard conditions of confinement. As a result, all federal detainees must be transported to and from San Juan, Puerto Rico. Finally, income tax returns from the residents of the Virgin Islands are filed with the Territory of the Virgin Islands, which keeps all tax revenues except for Social Security taxes.

Posted by Random Penseur at December 14, 2004 08:02 AM

If you go there, I'm coming down to be your paralegal. Or computer geek. Or butler. I'm not proud. I'm just cold.

Posted by: Howard at December 14, 2004 04:56 PM

You'd be a natural first choice, Howard. But I see you more as a life guard at the pool. You know, with a whistle and everything?

Posted by: RP at December 15, 2004 08:47 AM

YES! Wahoo! I was a lifeguard back in "the day" and could easily do it again. :-)

Posted by: Howard at December 16, 2004 08:48 AM

*sigh* We can dream, right, Howard?

Posted by: RP at December 16, 2004 08:52 AM
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