January 19, 2005

Bad jury pool, bad!

I'm way jealous that Jan at Secular Blasphemy got to this story first.

The group of prospective jurors was summoned to listen to a case of Tennessee trailer park violence.

Right after jury selection began last week, one man got up and left, announcing, "I'm on morphine and I'm higher than a kite."

When the prosecutor asked if anyone had been convicted of a crime, a prospective juror said that he had been arrested and taken to a mental hospital after he almost shot his nephew. He said he was provoked because his nephew just would not come out from under the bed.

Another would-be juror said he had had alcohol problems and was arrested for soliciting sex from an undercover officer. "I should have known something was up," he said. "She had all her teeth."

Another prospect volunteered he probably should not be on the jury: "In my neighborhood, everyone knows that if you get Mr. Ballin (as your lawyer), you're probably guilty." He was not chosen.

The case involved a woman accused of hitting her brother's girlfriend in the face with a brick. Ballin's client was found not guilty.

"[H]ad all her teeth". *Snicker* I'd also be concerned if I was Mr. Ballin who has the reputation in the community for the counsel of choice for those who are guilty. I thought it was a nice touch for the article to note that Ballin got this guy off.

Posted by Random Penseur at January 19, 2005 08:32 AM

You know, as soon as I saw that this was a story about those crazy people in Tennessee, I just had to cover my eyes and hope for the best. I still remember when an F-16 went down in Nashville, and the only person they found with whom to do an interview was a barely competent man who had been "lyin' nekkid in the bed with his girlfriend and up and thowed her crosst t'other side of the room". My mom was barely able to speak coherently when she saw that on CNN, she was so mad--noone likes to be guilty by association!

There will be no smashing people in the face with bricks at my Nashville weddin'. We're civilized people, and will use folding chairs instead ;)

Posted by: Mandalei at January 19, 2005 09:24 AM

A popular joke in my neck of the woods about Lake County in Northern California, which has an extraordinarily high rate of methamphetamine use and production combined with the highest rate of residents on SSI in the state goes like this:

Q. What do you get when you have five people in the bar at Konochti?

A. A full set of teeth!

Posted by: Mark at January 20, 2005 08:02 AM

Excellent & amusing tales, as usual, RP. That said, I would venture that the emotion you felt was envy, not jealousy...

Posted by: GrammarQueen at January 21, 2005 12:10 PM
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