April 18, 2005

Overheard on the Street: A cell phone call

Been awhile since I've heard a cell phone call worth posting, but happily, some new material has come my way. File this under how not to improve marital relations:

What am I going to do tonight? Same thing I do every night, go home to that bitch of a wife of mine. She's been sitting on the couch all day doing nothing but eating take-out Chinese food and when I get home the first thing she's going to say to me is 'Do I look fat?' And I'm gonna say, hell yeah bitch you look fat!!

The streets of New York are a never ending source of delight, amusement, and material.

Posted by Random Penseur at April 18, 2005 12:04 PM


The sad thing is, that small...um...minded man will probably not say a word. Nothing. Nada. Zip. But, boy would I love to be a fly on the wall if he did say that to his wife. Of course, then I'd get squished when she pummelled him against said wall.

Ah, Colorado Springs just doesn't have enough fodder for people watching/listening. Too many redneck/white-bread/religious right wackjob types.

Posted by: Allison at April 20, 2005 09:36 PM

And they wonder why there are so many homicides in NYC.....

Posted by: Mark at April 21, 2005 11:13 PM

And it reminds me of the old joke:

Mr. Smith: "Boy did I ever blow it yesterday. I went to buy a box of crackers from the store. The clerk had the biggest rack I've ever seen. When she asked me what I wanted I said, 'A box of Titz crackers, please'."

Mr. Jones: "I know what you mean. Yesterday at breakfast with my wife, I meant to say -'Please pass the salt, dear', but it came out as 'You ruined my life, you fucking bitch'."

Posted by: Mark at April 23, 2005 10:07 AM
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