November 09, 2007

An opening

So, as I recently posted, I asked my wife for either a mistress or a puppy. She thought about it and told me last night that I could have a mistress. A mistress, she said, is someone I could take care of during either business hours or the evening, from time to time. But a puppy, said she, is something that she would have to take care of all the time. So, I was cleared for a mistress.

I am now accepting applications.

Just saying.

In all seriousness (although creative emails and comments are welcome), I have to report that I did then go on to tell her that if I was being cleared for the odd evening out, I would actually prefer to play squash. I mean, I would still have to shower afterwards but it might go on for longer (squash, that is) and I would not have to ask my partner if the experience was good for him or her. It sucks getting older, doesn't it?

Posted by Random Penseur at November 9, 2007 02:54 PM | TrackBack

And you'd still have to wear protection.

You need to do a "Why squash is like having a Mistress" list.

Posted by: Howard at November 9, 2007 04:37 PM

BWAAAAH-HAHAHAHAHAHA! Your wife is my hero.

I keep telling my husband the best insurance for fidelity is having kids later in life. Then you're too tired to do ANYTHING outside the marital bed, not to mention in it.

Posted by: Caroline at November 11, 2007 08:17 PM


Wait. I thought squash WAS your mistress.

I'll take that puppy, though, if you're not going to :-)

Posted by: caltechgirl at November 12, 2007 09:53 PM

We call it racquetball out here on the West Coast and yes, I ADORE IT TOO!

But I have noticed I'm a bit more sore all over the next day than I once was. Sucks, as you say.

Posted by: Amber at November 13, 2007 11:25 AM

Ha...I told Joe if he had a mistress, he gets the kids in the settlement. No mistress! LOL

I can totally see why VB approved the mistress. I'm here all day with two dogs and then in the afternoon with two kids and two dogs. And guess what? No husband to be found until evening when every last one of them goes to bed. Okay, so let me follow that by saying that my level of joy exceeds my level of frustration...most days.

Posted by: Linda at November 15, 2007 02:28 PM

Lucky devil. You married a wise woman!

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